“Did you mean what you said Baracky?”*
Friday, April 26
Being super-conscious of my surroundings I am constantly berating myself for how immediately judgmental I can be.
To a certain extent, in the writer mode, I am merely observing and drawing conclusions based on both what I perceive as universal and extraordinary human behavior.
However, sometimes I feel that there is a fine line between generalizing for literary sake and judging a book by its cover.
Being judgmental, to me, essentially means that I see a stranger and immediately draw a conclusion about them based solely on a mere glance at their looks, words or behavior and, what I believe to be, a glean into their character.
The problem with these conclusions is that I know very well that the little puzzles I put together are assembled with the tenuous glue of prejudice and a whole lot of missing pieces.
For example, a couple of women boarded the train this morning and sat in the aisle across from me. Both were obese, had big black wet-looking hair, were wearing jeans and black tops, and began to chat loudly with each other as soon as they sat down, even though they had to sit a row apart. My immediate thoughts were "working class," thoughts that were admittedly tainted with a tint of disdain.
The truth is I know a lot of great blue collar folk that I love and adore, including a lot of my family. My father is a working class man who came to this country almost fifty years ago with little in his pocket but an earnest drive to earn a living. As many successful second generation people will tell you, this is what endowed us with our own great work ethic, humility and integrity. More importantly, it is our parents' blood, sweat and toil at menial jobs that provided us with the opportunities and resources to succeed as professionals.
Thus, I know that simply because you wear a white collar to work and you likely have paid a lot of money to be "educated" beyond high school, that this not inherently make you a better person by any means.
In fact, one might argue the opposite.
Much of the time what makes you a good and interesting person is not what you do for a living, but rather how you interact and are perceived by others. This cannot be inferred through looks alone.
Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a discussion with Jamie Moyer, the oldest player in the major leagues, who is also the pitcher with the most wins, losses, and strikeouts of any active pitcher today. During the Q&A he was asked about the three guys he admires most. He immediately answered Andre Dawson, Nolan Ryan, and Cal Ripken, explaining that all of them consistently presented admirable character both on and off the field.
In particular, he said that Andre Dawson, was both a driven player and a great man, whose character is solid as a rock, “Good day, bad day, you could never tell the difference with Andre. One day we were at Wrigley Field and I witnessed Andre take his fan mail. A lot of guys wouldn’t bother, but Andre made the time and if he took a bag of mail with him overnight, he would bring it back all signed the next day.”
“Nolan Ryan was a true professional. Although he was a player who made unbelievable history that we may never see again, he treated you like he was just like he was just another Joe. ‘You want to go have a steak?’ he would ask me, even though I was just a rookie. And even if he was angry on the field, when he came off he was always a true gentleman.”
“When Cal Ripken was playing he had demands on him that went through the roof. Nonetheless, he would sign every autograph. He would stay at the stadium until 1 or 2 am; even when he was the guy who was in the middle of a streak. He is simply a super-super human being. Regardless of his accomplishments, he showed that he was as human as anyone else and made the effort to connect with people at every level.”
Similarly, I was recently impressed by how stately and nonjudgmental both Presidents Clinton and Obama were, when they made remarks summing up GW at the dedication of his presidential library yesterday.
Despite the pervasive liberal-minded inclination to poke fun of President George W. Bush's public ramblings and collectible guffaws, they praised him based on the many of the good qualities he exhibited outside his role as commander-in -chief.
One might easily argue, “Of course, they were only doing their job and it is only right to give thanks and praise.” True dat. But, I was impressed and inspired nonetheless.
“We know President Bush the man,” Mr. Obama said. “To know the man is to like the man. Because he’s comfortable in his own skin. He knows who he is. He doesn’t put on any pretenses. He takes his job seriously, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He is a good man.”
That’s why it is important to not make judgments of people so readily. To make a true assessment, you’ve got to get to know them first, otherwise they should simply remain strangers on a train.
*Photo Source: USA Today
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